


KISS ME GOOD-BYE (after you like a dog)

by glossary



Category: Jupiter Ascending (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drunk Texting, F/F, Fluff, Sexting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 17:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4796237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glossary/pseuds/glossary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kalique is entirely successful and self-possessed and amazing, so there is no reason why she should be so excited when cute party girl Jupiter decides to sext her.<br/>But really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	KISS ME GOOD-BYE (after you like a dog)

_are u really?_

She was in the lift the first time it happened, and she couldn’t possibly imagine what would come after. Her calves felt tired, and if there hadn’t been a security camera recording her she would’ve stepped out of her heels – but that would be like admitting weakness, and Kalique never allowed herself vulnerability unless it was meticulously calculated to encourage a lesser predator into leaping before looking. Her face, smooth and fresh despite the long day, remained pleasant and vaguely welcoming as she looked at the new text, even with the dark heavy sheen of exhaustion draining the colour out of everything. _Kiza_ , she thought – because nobody but Kiza and Titus ever texted her (Balem thought it was undignified), and Titus had the decency to not abbreviate words.

The number was unknown. She wondered if Kiza had lost her phone.

 _Am I really what?_ , she typed back. The screen went blurry in between blinks, but all her tiredness evaporated in a shower of shock and trepidation when the answer came: _good at eating pussy_. Kalique stared. Her hands definitely weren’t shaking when she wrote _I beg your pardon?_

 _ok_ , unknown sender answered, _im into beggin_

No punctuation whatsoever. One time Kalique had subscribed Titus to one-hundred twenty-seven One Direction mailing lists for not using proper capitalisation. Being aroused was ridiculous.

_Who are you?_

_jupiter u?_

Jupiter. Kalique considered it. It sounded like a stripper codename. _Kalique_ , she said finally. Her thumb caught a little on the edge of the screen – her fingers were damp. _hot_ , unknown sender said. Kalique imagined a tiny party girl somewhere, her cheeks glimmering with glitter, her mouth flushed red with kisses, so inebriated she couldn’t stand straight, all her friends gathering around to watch her text filthy things at a stranger.

Was she the only one? Were the comparing notes?

 _That is true_ , she wrote steadily. (Things Kalique hadn’t ever been able to accept, no matter what her therapist said: failure, not being the best, the most charming and clever and fun and _beloved_ , and the fact that her mother had killed herself and it wasn’t her fault.) This time the reply took much longer – when it came Kalique was stepping out of the lift and walking towards her car, where a man in a sharply-cut suit opened the door for her and held her arm to stabilise her only for the barest moment.

 _confidence is also hot_ , said Jupiter. Kalique wanted to smile, impossibly – she never smiled just because she wanted to, beauty was a knife in her hand, except for all Jupiter knew she wasn’t pretty, she was just a stranger somewhere who was confident and hadn’t stopped talking once pussies were mentioned.

_How did you get my number, if I may ask?_

_club bathroom_ , said Jupiter promptly, and then there was a shaky picture – but clear enough to appreciate, even with the dim light and the faded paint of the bathroom stall, the writing of GIRL WITH MAD PUSSY SKILLZ SEEKS GIRL WITH PUSSY, and below was her number. The letters were bold and stark and written in sparkly purple pen. After a moment of consideration, Kalique added Jupiter’s number under Probable Stripper.

 _I see_ , she sent, and then hovered for a moment, resting her phone against her knees and staring at the open text conversation, because she saw but she didn’t know what to type. Kalique couldn’t even remember what it was like, to fancy someone just because – a schoolgirl sort of thing where everything was simple and free. Obviously Jupiter didn’t share her apprehension, because after Kalique hadn’t answered for three whole minutes she was bombarded with _do u_ , and _are u a pussy master_ , and _uve got mad pussy skills??_ , and – unbelievably – _sorry i ment *skillz_.

Kalique laughed, and then she felt flustered that maybe Malidictes had heard – the gleam of his eyes in the mirror, shifting to her and back again with quickness. She looked out the window and told herself to not be so absurd. It wasn’t a bad thing to laugh. Kiza laughed all the time.

Jupiter was quiet, waiting. Kalique wrote, slowly but thinking it over intensely, and then: _I’ve got skills indeed. What about you?_

Kalique was sure she’d finally found someone who texted faster than Titus, because immediately Jupiter said _ofc i do??? only pussy masters can talk to other pussy masters_

This was quite possibly the tackiest thing she’d done in her life, and curling anticipation was tightening her gut. Kalique kicked off her shoes discreetly and, shifting her legs to rest on the seat (when was the last time she’d done so? Mother was still alive, she was sure), rested her temple against the window. _Tell me about it_ , she said, and Jupiter did.

* * *

(0:23)

_what do u wanna no_

(0:23)

_How old are you?_

(0:24)

_im 22 u?_

(0:24)

_I’ll be thirty in two weeks._

(0:24)

_thats so nice i hope u get a bday cake with stuff on it_

(0:25)

_Stuff?_

(0:25)

_ya u know stuff frorostoring_

(0:25)

_im p sure i can almost spell if i keep tryin_

(0:25)

_That’s okay. Thank you for your warm wishes._

(0:26)

_i no weve got a nice thing goin but the posh writin is turnin me on_

(0:26)

_I’m not posh merely because I punctuate correctly._

(0:27)

_youre definitely posh its ok i bet u wear high heels???_

(0:29)

 _Yes, I do_.

(0:29)

_tell me what to do_

(0:31)

_How do you mean?_

(0:31)

_so youll like me_

(0:35)

_You’re doing quite fine._

(0:35)

_u promise_

(0:35)

_I wouldn’t lie._

(0:35)

_ok i believe u_

(0:37)

 _Thank you for your trust_.

(0:37)

_im relay sorry_

(0:37)

_really_

(0:37)

_Why?_

(0:37)

_im touchin myself_

(0:40)

_Why?_

(0:40)

_it’s the posh thing im weak_

(0:41)

 _You’re adorable_.

(0:41)

_u think so???_

(0:41)

_ur right but u think so??_

(0:41)

_I think so. Where are you, Jupiter?_

(0:41)

_snazzy glittery club bathroom_

(0:41)

_How can you write snazzy glittery but you can’t spell ‘really’?_

(0:42)

_autocorrect_

(0:42)

_A dangerous tool._

(0:43)

_im wild and danger so_

(0:43)

_dangerous even_

(0:50)

_kalique dont leave me_

(0:53)

_I apologise. I just got home._

(0:53)

_Are you still…_

(0:53)

_no if u dont talk to me i dont feel like it_

(0:53)

 _You’re positively spoiled_.

(0:54)

_yep_

(0:54)

_I’d like to help you. What should I talk about?_

(0:54)

_just stuff u dont have to write dirty if u dont wanna_

(0:54)

(0:54)

_Are you alone?_

(0:54)

_no im here w caine_

(0:54)

_p sure my mum gave birth to him and he got stolen in the hospital_

(0:55)

_hes my homie_

(0:55)

_Friendship is a lovely thing._

(0:55)

_i bet u have a lot of friends_

(0:55)

_Do you?_

(0:55)

_yeah ur suave_

(0:56)

_I only like three people outside my family, which consists of two brothers._

(0:56)

_They are rather like cats. It doesn’t matter if you like them, because once they’ve decided you belong to them, that’s it._

(0:56)

_what about these three ppl_

(0:57)

_My assistant, my therapist and my driver._

(0:57)

_uve got a driver????_

(0:57)

(0:58)

_omg_

(0:58)

_What’s the problem?_

(0:58)

_ur way out of my league_

(0:58)

_i got a limo for prom and i felt classy af_

(0:58)

_& uve got a fuckin driver_

(0:59)

_I am not engaging in sexual intercourse with Malidictes._

(0:59)

_that sounds like a stripper name_

(1:02)

_Sorry. I dropped my phone._

(1:02)

_why_

(1:02)

_I laughed._

(1:02)

_i made u laugh?_

(1:03)

_It’s not the first time._

(1:03)

_i feel all glowy_

(1:03)

_Glowy?_

(1:03)

_ya like when u drink a relay good milkshake_

(1:04)

_fuck_

(1:04)

_i ment shit_

(1:04)

_I MENT SHOOT_

(1:04)

_How come auto-correct doesn’t fix your ‘ments’?_

(1:05)

_bc i use it a lot when i write it right it changes it_

(1:05)

_Relay?_

(1:05)

_ur funny_

(1:05)

_That’s true as well._

(1:05)

_What about now?_

(1:06)

_what_

(1:06)

_Well, are you masturbating right now?_

(1:06)

_yes_

(1:06)

_Hard?_

(1:06)

_no_

(1:07)

_well now i am_

(1:07)

_I am too._

(1:07)

_really?_

(1:07)

_i kinda real y wanna eat u out_

(1:08)

_bc i think ur super classy and nice_

(1:08)

_eat u out until u cry_

(1:08)

_is it ok to say that_

(1:08)

 _It’s okay_.

(1:09)

_I wouldn’t mind._

(1:09)

_tell me what u like_

(1:09)

_I don’t know how._

(1:09)

_what don’t u like??_

(1:10)

 _Blood_ _play_.

(1:10)

_wow_

(1:10)

_You haven’t tried it._

(1:10)

_no im in community college_

(1:10)

_bjs are advanced stuff_

(1:11)

_I dislike blood._

(1:13)

_But I don’t dislike pain._

(1:13)

_i have never been so turned on in my life_

(1:15)

_kalique?_

(1:15)

 _I feel rather glowy_.

(1:15)

_me too_

(1:15)

_i like oral sex_

(1:15)

_and i prefer girls but i dont mind boys_

(1:16)

_I am much the same._

(1:16)

_I like being tied up._

(1:16)

_hot_

(1:16)

_i like bein bossy_

(1:16)

_I noticed it. I like you being bossy._

(1:16)

_me?_

(1:17)

_Yes, you specifically._

(1:17)

_even hotter_

(1:17)

_i like biting_

(1:17)

_and i like to keep going until it hurts_

(1:17)

_high heels_

(1:17)

_classy underwear_

(1:18)

_semi public is ok. like in cars in dark lots_

(1:18)

 _You are masturbating in a public bathroom_.

(1:18)

_its ok its locked_

(1:19)

 _That changes everything_.

(1:19)

_its ur turn_

(1:19)

 _I like dirty talk_.

(1:19)

_im on the good track?_

(1:20)

 _The best track_.

(1:21)

_i wanna try a thing_

(1:21)

_i think weve got to get serious_

(1:23)

 _Alright_.

(1:23)

_stop touching & clean ur hand with some clothes nearby_

(1:24)

 _Alternatively, I could use a tissue_.

(1:24)

_no its part of the experience cmon do it_

(1:25)

_Alright. What now?_

(1:25)

_u can touch urself but only a little bit_

(1:25)

_drag ur hand down and press with ur palm_

(1:26)

_Okay. Typing one-handed is difficult._

(1:26)

_im a pro_

(1:26)

_u can use fingers now but only one_

(1:26)

_push in & out_

(1:27)

 _Yes_.

(1:27)

_flick ur clit_

(1:29)

(1:30)

_dont come ok_

(1:30)

 _I won’t_.

(1:30)

_u can use two fingers now_

(1:31)

_and do it deep but slow_

(1:31)

_Alright. What are you doing?_

(1:31)

_same so i can imagine ur doing it to me_

(1:32)

(1:32)

_do u feel glowy_

(1:32)

 _A little_.

(1:32)

_try four fingers_

(1:33)

_Four?_

(1:33)

_yeah & go faster_

(1:34)

_dont make any noise_

(1:34)

_u have to be very quiet_

(1:35)

_but keep ur mouth open_

(1:35)

_& open ur legs a lot_

(1:36)

 _I’ve obeyed_.

(1:38)

_i wanna eat u out so bad so bad i really keep fucking urself kalique dont stop ok im about to i can feel myself im but dont come_

(1:39)

 _I wouldn’t_.

(1:40)

_i wanna put my fingers in ur mouth_

(1:41)

 _I want to come_.

(1:41)

_just a bit more im only holding on so itll be better_

(1:41)

_u kno that dont u_

(1:42)

 _Yes. I know that_.

(1:42)

_tell me depraved stuff_

(1:45)

 _I very much wish I was there with you so I could kneel and eat you out like your clitoris was a sweet and I was awfully hungry_.

(1:47)

 _Jupiter, I really have to come_.

(1:47)

_ok_

(1:47)

_u can now_

(1:50)

_kalique??_

(1:51)

I feel wonderfully boneless.

(1:51)

_glowy_

(1:51)

_Yes. Glowy._

(1:52)

_im gonna tell caine we should go home_

(1:52)

_Don’t you like clubs?_

(1:52)

_i do but i wanna read this conv again and jerk off at home_

(1:53)

_ive got pillows and stuff_

(1:53)

(1:53)

_Can I ask you a favour, Jupiter?_

(1:53)

_yeah_

(1:55)

 _Throw your knickers in the thrash and then go home_.

(1:57)

_ok_

(1:57)

 _Goodnight, darling_.

(1:57)

_goodnight kalique_

* * *

It was not the last time.

Nothing on Saturday. Kalique only checked her phone six times during Sunday, for which she felt unbearably proud. She thought about cleaning her flat, but it was big and full of knickknacks and she kept getting distracted by the memory of it, of the ghost warmth that stole across her body at odd moments like a hand tracing the curve of her spine. She lay on the floor of her living room, which had no actual sofa and only an enormous chaise lounge that Titus had gifted her when she’d moved in because he was a hedonistic waste of space who loved her, and alternatively stared out at the city —the wall was, of course, made of bulletproof glass— and at her phone while pretending she was just checking to see if the office had sent an email.

(She had them under strict instructions not to bother her on the weekends unless they were going bankrupt.)

Balem dropped by. She made a pathetic attempt at lunch, gave up and pulled out her super-secret stash of biscuits and chocolate. He’d brought wine, probably because he’d expected her to cook something (or more likely, order something and place it artfully on her delicate china), but when they were wrestling for the last Hershey’s he knocked the closed bottle under the chaise lounge with his ankle and it stayed there, forgotten. When they tired of trash-talking everyone they knew, Kalique put on dreamy music and they lay against each other, barefoot and holding hands. She was pretty sure co-dependence had been invented by the Abrasax family.

“Some girl is suing Titus again,” Balem said idly. His eyes were half-closed, fixed unforgivingly on the horizon. He bumped his knee against hers.

“Is she pregnant?”

“No, not that sort of suing. He got into a fight with a bloke about three times bigger than him.”

“I wish he’d just stop flirting altogether,” said Kalique wistfully. “He should be bitterly alone and judgemental, like us.”

“Agreed,” said Balem. “Anyway, of course the bloke won the fight, Titus can’t throw a punch to save his life. Perhaps literally. Apparently he decided to get even, went outside and beat the hell out of a red Prius.”

“Heavens,” said Kalique mildly, biting her lip so she wouldn’t laugh.

Balem looked deeply grim. “He got the wrong car. Fortunately Famulus made some sort of arrangement with the bloke, but the girl wouldn’t hear of it. I can’t say I blame her.”

“I am absolutely convinced Titus tried to flirt with her to mitigate the damage and was unknowingly offensive,” Kalique said. “Or maybe he offered her a threesome with one of his deranged groupies.”

“I was hoping Kiza could fix it,” said Balem, rubbing his cheek against hers idly. “She’s got this way with spirited people.”

“That’s a way to put it,” said Kalique contemplatively.

Her eyes shifted to her phone again, lying innocently next to her bare thigh. It remained stubbornly dark. Disappointment gathered like a closed fist in her heart, and she tilted her head back, her foot absent-mindedly engaged in a stomping war with Balem’s.

“I’d like a cup of tea, if that’s okay,” said Balem quietly.

Given that he never asked for anything and she tried her best to nurture his stunted attempts at being a healthy person, she got up wordlessly and padded to the kitchen, where she put on the electric kettle and took out her favourite set of teacups, delicate gilded glass with a subtle suggestion of flowers in full bloom. She added milk, no sugar, and placed both cups on a lovely silver tray. When she came back into the living room Balem was thumbing unashamedly through her phone. Her heart skipped a beat but her hands remained steady.

“You’re a creep,” she told him, sitting down with graceful abandon.

“That’s probably true,” he said mournfully, and didn’t correct his behaviour in any way whatsoever. “She hasn’t texted again, I gather? Nor called.”

“No,” said Kalique, closing her hands around the warm glass of her cup. “She hasn’t.”

“Why don’t you text her?”

“She may regret it,” Kalique answered, turning her face away. “I’m almost a decade older, and being drunk lowers down a lot of inhibitions. Or perhaps she simply thinks of it as an one-time thing.”

“I’ve never regretted anything I’ve done,” Balem said against her ear, hooking his chin on the hollow between jaw and shoulder. “Not ever.”

“That’s different, Balem,” said Kalique tiredly. “We belong to the Abrasax family. As Mother said: there is iron in our soul.”

“You shouldn’t be interested in anybody who regrets even a second of her life,” said Balem. “It’s below yourself.”

But what he was really saying was: _you deserve more, you can do better, and you should get everything you want_. They were quiet for a long time, drinking their tea – of course he finished his too fast and then stole half of hers, but Kalique didn’t mind, touching the back of his neck and feeling the usual bloom of fondness for him. He loved her. Even when she felt so lonely it was like a noose around her neck, she could count on that. Her family loved her.

“Okay,” she said. “Okay.”

He smiled a little.

It got too late for him to bother his own driver, a tall spare man with reptilian eyes – so she invited him to stay over. They slept on her bed, kicking the covers aside and entwining their limbs for warmth, her hair got everywhere and he kept giving these little kicks – but they’d done this a million times, she knew how to accommodate his quirks. In the morning, a pale yellow Monday, she checked her phone out of half-hearted habit and her smile was like summer blossoming when she saw the notification.

_(1)_ _new message_

_if i try hard to make u glowy again can i keep talkin to u??_


End file.
